Just the Two of Them (9.06.2012)

[Seirei Hisakata]

It had been months since Seirei and Tersias had had some decent time alone together, especially with Tersias' return to her home world. He of course felt blessed to have such a large family to keep him company, but when two mates are separated for such a long time, it starts to strain on the heart.

After their delicious celebratory feast the night before, Seirei decided that it would be good timing to take his mate to somewhere secluded and private, just the two of them. Okela island suited their requirements perfectly. Seema was very willing to keep an eye on her neices and nephews, leaving Tersias and Seirei a day to themselves.

He had flown with his mate on his back to the island in the south eastern ocean, and landed with a little "poof" in the sand, which rose around them in a cloud as he touched down. "We're here!" he called over his shoulder. Tersias had fallen asleep about half way through the journey. Her body was still healing and she often dozed off without realising it.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias was woken by a soft bump, and opened her eyes sleepily to find a small cloud of sand whirling around them. She sneezed - once, twice, three times - as the sand settled again and then shook off with a smile.

"We're where?" she asked softly, slipping off Seirei's back with a smile and looking around. She hadn't been to Okela Island in a long time, but it was good to be back. "Oooh, okela Island? You are spoiling me" she grinned.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei chuckled, ruffling the top of her head fondly, "Only the best for my one and only! Thought you could use a break from the hustle and bustle of home and soak up some sun. It would help you get better way faster, plus ..." Seirei licked Tersias on the nose the way he always did, and then twice more. "We get to spend some time alone together."

Winking, he entwined his long tail with her bushy one; it was how animals who depended on all four paws could hold hands. "Close your eyes, I have a surprise for you," he whispered into her ear. He hoped she would like what he had spent the early hours of the morning making: a secret getaway just for them.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias smiled brightly, her eyes twinkling with curiosity and excitement, then giggled. "You're silly sometimes, Mr Seirei" she grinned, sounding almost like the same little cub who had arrived in Tialka what felt like centuries ago.

"Okay, they're closed!" she giggled, her eyes screwed up tight. "But if I fall over cos I can't see where I'm going it'll be your fault, mister!" She wrapped her tail tighter around his, not wanting to lose track of where Seirei was but not wanting to upset him by opening her eyes either.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei chuckled, stretching out a wing to the side of her so as to cushion her, in case she bumped into a tree or something. "It won't take long, trust me," he said cheerily as they began making their way off the beach and into the small palm tree forest that stood in the centre of the island. He had to kick a coconut or two out of their way as they walked further into the shade, but apart from that their way was unhindered.

After about twenty minutes of them carefully picking their way along, Seirei stopped and gave a little tug on Tersias' tail so that she would know to stop too. "Now keep your eyes closed ..." he said, slipping his tail free of hers so that he could stand in front of her and reposition her body in the direction he wanted. He spread out both his wings as wide as they would go, to hide what was behind him. "Ok, open your eyes ..." He waited a few seconds for her to get her bearings and then, "Tadaaaa!" He swept his wings to the side like a grand, feathery curtain, to reveal a secluded little den just for them.

It was modestly done, but it had a charm about it. The den itself consisted of two smaller palm trees that had bent naturally so that they flexed over towards the ground. With a bit of rope manipulation, Seirei had managed to fix a blanket to the both of them, creating a wonky sort of tent to provide some shade. He had then raided every cupboard in their den at home and had covered the ground in cushions and blankets. He had even scattered a few of his best feathers, which he had previously collected over the weeks as they had molted.

"So ... what do you think?" He asked, slightly anxious to please her.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Opening her eyes, Tersias caught sight of the fruits of Seirei's labour. Her eyes widened and twinkled as a smile spread across her face.

"Aw honey, it's absolutely lovely!" she squealed, dashing over to the shade and curling up under the canopy. "It's so cute and it's comfy, and it's just the right size for you and me and nobody else," she grinned.

She looked up at Seirei and grinned. It was wonderful to finally feel like they were back to how things were - she had her big brave man and he was going to protect her and keep her happy. A warm feeling spread all the way through her body as the smile lit up her face.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei beamed with pleasure, relieved that he had done a good job, and more importantly, had made Tersias happy. He had missed that cute grin; it reminded him of when they first got together all that time ago, when Tersias was still fairly young and childish. He stood there for a few moments, watching her take the den in bit by bit, just smiling, his eyes fondly gazing down. He wished it could be this simple forever, but with the threat of Koatia and the preparations for Tialka's defence well under way, it made Seirei feel sad that this was probably the last time they could be alone like this ... and safe.

He felt like there was so much that they needed to talk about. He had not really told his mate what was going on, or about Koatia and the Kumorishi. Maybe he just did not want her to worry, for her sake, or maybe ... in a sort of selfish way, he wanted to keep things like this for himself, to prolong the happy days as long as he could. He could tell that Tersias must have wanted this too, the way she kept on staying bright and cheerful all the time since her return from her home world, not mentioning more than a sentence or two of what had passed.

He sighed, bending his head under a flap of the blanket, settling down beside Tersias and nuzzling his nose into the fur around her neck. Maybe this was the right time. He had an idea of how he could get her to open her heart. Maybe if he opened his first, she would feel like sharing the burden that had sat on her chest for so long. He had to say it, even if he felt selfish.

"Say, Tersias ..." he said softly, barely louder than the warm breeze that rustled through the palms, "What do you think about ... about having another litter?"

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias laughed a little, a cheeky grin on her face. "I told you exactly what I thought of having another litter when I was giving birth to the first, Seirei, so get that thought out of your head this instant!" she teased, her eyes twinkling a little with mischeif.

Looking up, she saw the earnest expression on his face and realised he wasn't kidding. "Wait, you're actually being serious, aren't you?" she asked quietly, a little surprised. The suggestion was one she was unsure of her opinion of - on the one hand, things were going so well that if there was ever going to be a time for another litter this was it. Tialka was at peace, everyone was happy, and the pups they already had were beginning to gain some independance and wouldn't suffer for Tersias having to pay attention to new siblings. On the other hand though, five pups was a lot of work as it was, and - though she felt selfish for even thinking it - Tersias knew that the additional work an extra litter would create would fall to her.

"If I'm honest, I don't know, Seirei." she said frankly, looking serious. "You know I would love a bigger family, and I think if we were ever going to have another litter, now would be the time. But if I'm honest, I don't know if I can handle it. I know the pups are getting a lot more independant now, and so things around the den are getting a little easier, but... another litter would take us up to eight, nine, maybe even ten pups. And let's be honest, you're out a lot. And I'm okay with that, but ten pups at home and just me to watch them? I'm not sure I'd be so okay with that, Seirei". Her expression was a little sad. She would love more pups, but she had to be realistic.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei smiled; he had predicted an answer along those lines. "Just thought I'd put the idea out there," he chuckled, trying to keep light-hearted about it, but his face betrayed him. Inside, he was disappointed. He dreamed of having a large family. Certainly, he was already lucky to have five beautful, healthy pups, but there was a niggle in his heart which yearned for more. No matter, he would not push Tersias. It was her body after all.

Something she had said stirred Seirei's interest, as well as a pang of guilt. "I know I'm away a lot, and I can't simply justify it by saying I'm busy with duties as a Founder and all that ... but I guess it's just a part of me. A bird is never truly happy being caged up. I'm not saying that I feel trapped, don't take me wrong, but I just mean that my heart is in two places: our home and the skies." Seirei shook his head a little, thinking he had just said something really selfish, but it was how he felt. Was now the right time to bring what he had wanted to hear all this time from his mate? He decided he had to try.

"You say ..." he tried to form the sentence the right way. "You say you don't know if you could handle it. To be honest, hun, you've been finding a lot of things harder than usual. I mean, I know you're bogged down with keeping the den and our family going, but I mean, arrgh." He just did not know how to phrase it without directly hurting Tersias. He went for it, "Tersias, for goodness sake, tell me what happened. What happened out there for those three months."

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias was caught off guard by Seirei's somewhat direct approach. Immediately her worry was that Seirei was somehow blaming her for how difficult things had been lately for her. She had been trying so hard, what more was she supposed to do?! Just the mention of her trip home was enough to bring a cloud over her mood and darken her face.

It took all of Tersias' strength not to reply in anger. She knew that Seirei didn't mean to seem selfish with his whole "love of the skies", but to give her that spiel and then immediately criticise how she was handling everything that was going on... well, it just seemed harsh. But perhaps it was partly her own fault.

"They didn't want me there. I arrived to criticism and anger, people who said I didn't deserve the summons and if I cared about my people I would never have left. I dealt with all my mum's stuff, which included all my dad's stuff, which she hadn't been able to deal with yet. And then when I came before the council and explained the whole situation, with you and the pups... they just didn't wanna know. I was basically chased out of town. And the journey home was tough." Her tone was soft and sad.

"But please, Seirei, don't criticise how I'm dealing with things. I have just lost not only my mother, but my entire heritage. Any chance our pups had of learning about where they came from on my side is now gone. My bridges are burnt. I have given up everything I ever knew before you in order to keep you and all you can do is disappear because you love the damn skies, so don't you dare criticise how I cope with running your home and feeding your children and cleaning up your flaming mess!" she squeaked, tears stinging her eyes.

[Seirei Hisakata]

"I ... I wasn't criticising ..." Seirei said, a little stunned by his mate's sudden outbreak. "I totally appreciate everything that you do around the den, and what you do for me, day after day. Listen," he turned to face her, taking her front paws in his. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry ..." He placed his forehead against hers, he could feel her shaking with emotion against his skull. "I'm sorry that they did those things to you. I'm sorry that they sent you away from your family. And ... I'm sorry for not being there. You must miss your mother terribly, I never realised ..." He rubbed his head deeper into her fur, sincerely trying to connect.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

"I'm sorry I snapped," Tersias whimpered, and then suddenly burst into floods of tears. "It's just, I-I miss them s-so much. And I've been t-trying so hard not to think about it ... b-but I can't help it." She curled up into a small shape, pulling herself into the protection of Seirei's body. She was shaking, tears continuing to stream down her face.

She was now bordering on hysterics, her tiny frame jolting with each sob. "I feel like I'm drowning here, Seirei. I miss them so much. Mummy's gone ... and daddy's gone, and Seema's moved out. It feels like I'm losing everyone, especially with you out so often."

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei cradled his mate against his chest as he watched her finally spill out her heart. It was hard to listen to, and he could feel his own eyes starting to tear up at what she was saying, but he knew that, for her own emotional well-being, it was good for her to talk, to release the tension that had been building up for so long.

"I know, I know," he soothed, shushing her from time to time softly, as if he was comforting Ebony or Aislin. "You know you will never lose everyone," he said gently, speaking over her sobs. "You still have me ... and the pups. And Seema's only a short walk away, we can visit her anytime." He chuckled at a thought, "She's so close to her nieces and nephews I don't think she could stay away too long if she tried."

He looked into her eyes at that point, bulbus and watery and inflamed. His small attempt at cheering her up had not really worked, but at least his voice had seemed to calm her down. She was not sobbing at least, but the tears continued to flow. He held her tighter, placing his chin down on top of her head. "Thank you for being sincere with me, I know it's hard," he continued in a calm manner. "The truth is ..." he sighed, not knowing how she would react to what he was about to say. "The truth is, I've been keeping things from you, from all the Tialkans, actually, since I arrived here three years ago."

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias looked up, suddenly concerned. It was written all over her face, which looked grim and quiet.

"And what would that be? What's going on?" she asked softly, looking up at him. It wasn't like Seirei to hide things, or she hadn't thought it was. So what could possibly be so important that he had felt the need to keep it from her? From all of them? Her mind and heart were racing.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei sighed again. He had been doing that a lot lately, but maybe he would not have to if he did not have so much to hide, if so much did not depend on his pretence, his past. He detached himself from a curious Tersias, whose eyes gazed innocently at him, searchingly. He turned his head away from her, and looked out into the coconut tree forest that stood around them, now quite dark without the midday sun glaring through the leaves.

"I'm not entirely who you think I am. I mean, I am me, I am the Seirei you know. I did come from the Hisakata Clan originally, like I told you before, but ..." he dropped his head guiltily, in shame for what he had kept from Tersias for so long. "I am nothing but a coward. Sure, I came to Tialka like the rest of us, we all got Hiruko's call. We all felt the pull. But I wanted to come for a different reason. I had to escape. Tersias ..." he looked straight into her eyes now, his golden irises fixed on her blue ones. Where to begin? How to tell it properly?

"Not so long ago, it would be around eight years ago now, I lost someone dear to me. I lost my little sister. Mei was her name. I don't think I mentioned before, but I also had an older brother ... Kurai." He said the name bitterly. It still brought up powerful feelings even now. "Mei died in an accident. I was there, so was Kurai. I bet even to this day he blames me for her death, for since that day we grew apart. Now, we were part of a special family, us brothers. Sure, we were part of the Hisakata Clan, like the whole village, but we ... we were different. My father, he was the Head of the Clan, or King as you would put it. My brother and I, therefore, well that made us Princes of our land."

Seirei, looked at Tersias again, to check that she was still following him, that she understood. "Anyway, we grew up, without our sister. Our mother passed away soon after - my father always assumed the grief was too much for her - leaving us and our father. Well, to put a long story short, Kurai desired power. His anger always took the best of him, and my father could see this desire, and chose to banish him, in fear of what Kurai would do to our village. Making ... making me the sole heir to the Headship. But ... I did not want that. I was only nineteen, I did not feel ready. I was forced to fight my brother for a right that even I was not sure that I deserved. After the battle was fought, and Kurai placed back in exile, I was desperate. Desperate to escape, to get away. Next thing I knew ... I heard the call, and was transported to a new land. To what is now our home." He looked down again at the ground, fiddling with a pebble. "And I don't intend to go back."

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias listened silently as Seirei bared his soul, her face completely expressionless in an effort not to put him off what he was saying. She stored it all away little by little as the flood of information came, a whole side of her partner that she had never seen or imagined.

Seirei finished what he had to say and began to fiddle, too nervous to look at her. She put one paw up to his muzzle, lifting it so she was looking into her eyes.

"I'm glad you told me all of this. I know it must be difficult for you to think about it, let alone face it. And I'm very proud of you." she took a deep breath. "But it's your present that's important to me, and our future - not your past. So if you don't intend to go back, I will support you 100%. And if you ever change your mind about that, I'll come with you." She smiled weakly. This brought home to her that perhaps she had been focussing on the wrong thing lately - it was right now, here, with her family, that mattered. Not three months ago, or three years ago or anything else. Just right now.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei could not believe what he was hearing. He had hidden his true identity from his mate for three years, and she was not even angry or upset. "I really don't deserve you, you know," he said, a hint of a smile lifting one corner of his mouth. There was something in the way that Tersias had turned his head towards her, such a gentle touch of the paw, as if to say, I'm here, silly.

"So you see," Seirei said softly, almost in a slight trance from gazing into his lover's eyes for so long, "I too know the feeling of not belonging, of the pressure of duty. You were never alone in those feelings, but whereas you tried to confront them, I simply buried mine away, desperate to share but too scared to try. But now I also know ... that you're more precious than either of those, and that is why I choose you over my home." Seirei bent his head a little closer towards Tersias, and licked her nose. He felt exhausted, like he had flown for hours. That was all it took when you bared your heart to another.

Maybe one day he would take his family back to his home lands. He could see the people loving Tersias as their Head Lady, but would they accept his Headship in the future? He was never certain, not with Kurai still in the mix, but at least he would always have one certain little fox by his side.