On the Path to Recovery - 13.09.2009

[Seirei Hisakata]

It was the early morning of the day after the incident between Seirei and Seema, and he had managed to sneak out of the den without Tersias noticing. He had left the pups beside her and a note so that she wouldn't panic. He just needed to get out for a while, breathe some fresh air rather than being trapped below ground. He was a wolf, so of course it was natural for his race to sleep under trees, but being of a winged-wolf clan, his heart was also tied to the skies.

Unfortunately, the numbing properties of the plant that had been rubbed into his wound had worn off, but he was strong enough to walk slowly through the forest, every now and then leaning against a tree for a breather. The wound had gone deep, almost completely through his flesh, but being of the impatient nature that he was, Seirei was always too hasty to start moving again.

I'm probably going to get a mouthful when I get back, he thought to himself, as he made his way along one of the main paths through the forest, the warm light of the dawning sun peeking through the canopy.

[Kiba Kurokage]

Shiro was sitting by the lake quietly, just staring into the reflection of the cold water. She didn't have her katana and there was a wrapping around her neck, like a bandage. She had cleaned up, so her fur had returned to it's bright white color. She wasn't paying any attention to anything else other then her reflection.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei continued to walk slowly onwards, the pain getting a little worse as he started to pant with the effort. He wanted to sit down, but that would mean stretching his stomach muscles and at the moment it wasn't the most comfortable thing for him to do. He decided to make his way towards the ice-cool lake that was only a five minute walk from where he stood. He thought bathing in the water would soothe his wounds and wash away all the dirt in his fur that had gathered from him sleeping on the floor.

[Kiba Kurokage]

Shiro just sat at the lake, waiting for something to happen. She didn't want to stay near Kiba, and she didn't want to be near anyone, but she still felt like she had to talk to someone. Someone who cared. She dipped her paw into the water, letting the ripples distort her image.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei finally reached the familiar bushes that grew at the end of the path, acting as the layer of brush that blocked the lake from view. He pushed through the brambles as quickly as he could, a few snagging on his fur, making him wince. He finally stumbled through them and came into the open space, the magnicficent view of the crystal water before him. Not looking around him he headed straight for the water and waded straight in. The cold water stung strongly but eventually the initial shock faded away and there he floated, allowing the sun to heat the water up around him.

[Kiba Kurokage]

Shiro looked up at the disturbance in the water to see Seirei floating not too far away. She looked down again, ashamed to be near him. "Hey, Seirei. Do you believe in equivalent exchange?" She asked, hoping to start a conversation, but not really paying attention to what she said.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei turned over in the water when he heard a familiar voice. Recognising it as Shiro's, he kicked over to the shore where she sat, dipping her paw in the water and gazing in the reflection. He shook himself a little and hesitated. He decided he had to do it some time. Inhaling a deep breath, he slowly bent his knees and lowered himself to the ground. He gasped a little when his stomach touched the ground, so he put most of his weight onto his legs, which made sitting a little more comfortable.

Seirei frowned a little at Shiro's words. It was such a strange philosophical question to be thinking about, and he supposed that no one ever really knew the answers to those types of things. "I guess," he said thoughtfully, "that in some cases it's true. Those who act in evil ways always eventually end up being triumphed by good. It is an inevitable thing. Those who die are replaced by new living things, it's just the type of universe we live in. There are always two sides to things, no one is ever one hundred percent pure. Nor is someone completely evil. I believe that there is always some good in a person, even if they do not wish to display it - it's just a matter of finding the good inside you."

[Kiba Kurokage]

Shiro nodded slightly, satisfied with his answer. "I have had some ... problems lately. Mira stopped me from doing something that probably would have been bad. I don't want anyone to know, but I trust you for some reason. Don't ask me why, I just do. And I just want to know that, even with what I did ... do I have friends?" she asked. She turned her head to look at Seirei fully with her sad eyes before she said, "Seirei ... I tried to kill myself." Her voice was full of tension and grief. She pulled off the bandage around her neck to reveal a long but thin scar on the right side of her neck. Those few words cut through the air like a knife. "Will you forgive me?"

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei's eyes widened when Shiro revealed what she had tried to do. He gazed back at her, searching her eyes with his own, shocked to see so much confusion and vulnerability inside her; he had always imagined Shiro to be strong, like her brother. "I ... Shiro ... how could you even think of taking your own life?" Seirei didn't want to sound reprimanding, but he couldn't imagine how she could even think of doing such a thing, especially when Kiba depended on her right now. "Taking away your own life just ... it isn't the answer. I'm sure Mira must have given you this talk already, I know how strongly she believes about this type of thing, but you have so much ahead of you, and so many who rely on you. I rely on you."

A memory of the struggle on the ground flashed across his eyes and he shook his head, it was another nightmare to add to the collection in his mind. "The Tribe needs you. I mean, without your care or abilities I would still be lying on the ground bleeding to death. I know that you must feel confused, you ... well you certainly changed ... but don't you see? You changed for the better! No one hates you, and even if it seems like Tersias does, trust me, if you'd just had five pups wouldn't you feel a little tetchy?" Seirei laughed, and it echoed across the clearing. "Just, stay with us, for Kiba's sake."

[Kiba Kurokage]

Shiro continued to look at the wolf, a single tear falling down her face. "I know. I know that Tersias is stressed, and I know that people depend on me. I just couldn't take the stress. I'll tell you what I told Mira: the cruelest prison is the one you build yourself out of fear and remorse. Kiba told me that a little while back. I knew this to be true, even before I completely understood. I have regained flashes of my old life, and that has been my prison, so to speak. I just wanted to make friends here in Tialka, but everywhere I go there is always someone hurt, someone dead or dying. I was sick of it."

She looked down finally, not able to look the founder straight on anymore. "So I planned on taking the easy way out. Mira stopped me, though I still wonder if it would be better for everyone ... if I were to fade away out of all your memories." She started crying and wrapped her arms around Seirei instinctively, looking for some kind of comfort. "Kiba is gone, you were attacked, the memories, the blood, pain, the agony. It all hurt and it all came down to that silver blade when it was against my throat," she cried out into Seirei's fur. "I just wanted it to end, I just wanted someone to hold me and lie, telling me that everything was ok. There was no one there but the wind. No comforting words, no warm touch, nothing and nobody. I don't want to fight, I don't want to kill, and most importantly I want to live free and in peace. Yet the blood will always run, and I always be there. I will try to stay, but I cannot keep living like this. I refuse to." Her crying let up slightly, but she still tried to hug him and kept sobbing all the way through her words. "Seirei, just tell me what to do ... anything at all ... anything ..."

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias woke alone that same morning, a note beside her saying Seirei had gone for a walk to clear his head. Worried about her mate, especially what with the condition he was in, she bundled the pups into a large sling which hung underneath her stomach, and set out to find him. The forest was big and dense, and she was walking for many minutes. As she walked, the pups began to grow restless, squeaking and yelping. And so, Tersias decided to stop for a rest. Untying the sling, she set the pups down, laying beside them to feed them. Licking Sai's head, she looked around to get her bearings. That was when she saw it: a little distance off, by the lake, Shiro stood, hugging someone tightly. At first, Tersias had thought it was Kiba, and smiled. That was when she saw the familiar fluffy white wings. Her heart sank, and she watched with tears flowing.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei's expression saddened when Shiro lost control of her emotions and spilt out her heart over him. He winced as she hugged him tightly, her arms a little too eager around his healing wound. He blushed as she looked up at him, tears flowing out of her eyes, his fur dampened by her tears as she nuzzled her head into his chest. He didn't want to push her away, just as she was feeling so lost and confused, but . . . he had Tersias. He had sensed that Shiro felt something for him, but his morals gave him some common sense.

He gently pushed her a few inches away, just so that she wasn't embracing him anymore. "I ... I can't make you happy in that way Shiro, you know I can't ... but I wish you happiness all the same. Please, don't take your life, just keep on doing the amazing things you've been doing. You've already proved yourself as a good soul, no matter what has happened in your past."

[Kiba Kurokage]

She looked down, a sad smile across her face. "I wasn't talking like that Seirei. Seema's right, you are a pervert," she half joked, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I just wanted friends, but lately, it seems like I am alone. I am sorry for losing control like that, it won't happen again. I should probably be getting back to Kiba, he needs me, as you said." She re-wrapped the bandage around her neck and turned to leave. Before she left, she said, "Tell Tersias I am sorry if I made her feel bad. I also apologise to you. It should be my burden to bear. Not everyone else's. Oh, and hold on to Tersias, Seirei. You never know what you have until it's gone ..." She flashed away, leaving Seirei by the lake.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias cast her eyes to the ground; she did not want to pry, and she did not want to see either, because every second that she watched was another second of seeing them together. It burned into the back of her brain, like a red hot iron had torn through her retina. She turned her attention back to fussing over the pups, the only refuge she would have left if, indeed, as it seemed, Seirei's attention was now to turn elsewhere. She supposed she could not blame him really, for wanting to be with a wolf rather than her. After all, he was a wolf, not a fox.

Sai and Kai were rolling around in play again, fighting and scratching and tumbling. She chuckled half-heartedly, before bundling them all back into the sling. It was probably best that Seirei should not know she had seen what had happened with Shiro. She would return to her life and content herself with what little dignity she had left. And so Tersias stood to go, what little innocence still lived in her wailing.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Seirei blushed further when Shiro told him he was mistaken. He felt embarrassed that he had presumed such feeling from her, but he wasn't one hundred percent sure, especially the way she clung onto him like that. He would never understand females. Maybe she just needed some comfort, Seirei thought to himself as she vanished in front of him. He had caught the end of what Shiro said, thought for a moment, and then spun around.

There he saw the white figure of Tersias walking away from him in the distance. He gasped when he realised what she must have seen. Surely she knew that he would never do anything to hurt her? Had she not seen him push Shiro away? Cursing, and without thinking, he started to dash towards her, kicking off the ground with his back legs. Instant fire spread through his abdomen, and he fell onto the ground with a cry of pain. He tilted his head up, but he could not bear to move his body. All he could do was watch his mate walk further and further away into the shadows, as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

Tersias eventually reached the empty den, feeling as cold inside as Mira's mountain cave. Untying the sling, she shut the door and allowed the pups to play. She curled up on the bed which she shared with her mate and cried, cried for the loss of him and for his love also. How she wished she alone would one day be all that Seirei needed, and nobody else, but for now all she could do was live her life and wonder: was it just a hug? Or was it an affair and a hug? Or, worse still ... love and a hug?

Composing herself, she decided she had to find him. Just to try and understand why. Why would he do that to her? It made her shudder with anger. She had been so stupid! How could she have let him do this behind her back, and not even realise? Putting the pups into the security of the saferoom, Tersias left the den to find Seirei, slamming the front door behind her.

[Seirei Hisakata]

Roughly twenty minutes had passed, and Seirei slowly opened his eyes as he finally regained consciousness. His head was swimming, the surrounding bushes blurring in and out of focus. Why I am so weak?, he thought angrily to himself. It was so frustrating. Tentatively, he rose onto his feet and swayed, finding it difficult to keep his balance. He had to find Tersias, explain, apologise, anything.

Somehow, it did not feel as if he was going in the right direction. In his head he was aiming for the path through the bushes, but somehow they were growing further and further back. Suddenly, something solid caught under a paw and he was flung backwards into icy water. Startled at the change in temperature, Seirei realised that his confused body had led him back the way he had come from the lake. The concussion had left him greatly disorientated, and as he fell into the lake, he just closed his eyes, thinking it was just another of his nightmares.

[Tersias Tara-Hisakata]

"When I find him..." she muttered under her breath angrily, tramping through the forest, heading in what she hoped was the right direction. The path was winding and overgrown, and she stumbled more than once, at one stage cutting her paw open on a sharp rock. She stopped at this, licking the wound clean, then bound it up in leaves and vines as best she could and continued, gradually reaching the clearing where she had been when she saw it. "SEIREI?" she called out angrily, unable to see him through the trees.